Did you spend Memorial Day remembering the men and women who died while serving our country?
George S. Patton once said, "It is foolish and wrong to mourn the men who died. Rather we should thank God that such men lived."
You may have sacrificed a great deal for your children, but how will they remember you when you are long gone? Are you so busy with the tasks of parenting that you sometimes forget what your children really need? May this article, Top 10 Things Your Children Need From You, start some serious personal reflection and friendly discussion with other parents around you.
As much as we might wish for a parenting manual, with exact instructions based on proven scientific methodology, the truth is that parenting is more art than science. Below are 10 basic "art tools" to help children thrive:
1. Safety. They don't need over-protecting, but for you to be carefully aware of situations, surroundings and people that could potentially bring them harm.
2. Nourishment. Educate yourself as to what is truly nourishing and provide that to your children. Everything can be made yummy! And if you need help providing food, seek assistance from government and community services.
3. Time to play. This is critical for healthy children. It's where they process all they see and experience. Unfortunately, many schools across the nation are cutting playtime, and adults are doing the same thing at home.
4. Love. You never have to be perfect as a parent. Show your love, speak your love and its beam will shine through any and all parenting missteps.
5. Opportunities to struggle. If we protect our children from struggle, from failure, we are handicapping them for the adult world. Oftentimes the biggest, most profound life learning comes from facing challenges.
6. Honesty. Our kids usually know when we're lying. They just do. They may not know the specifics of the deception, but they know by the feelings they pick up that we are not being truthful. It's deeply confusing to them. They need our truth (in age-appropriate ways).
7. Support. Kids who have to fend for themselves all the time, or practically raise themselves, may learn they can never depend on or trust another. That's a sad way to live.
8. Positive modeling. They're looking to US to see how to be. One of the best things you can do for your children is to work on your own personal growth so that you can be the best model for your kid(s).
9. Your belief in them. Knowing that you believe in them, in their innate goodness and abilities, helps create strong self-esteem.
10. Time together. Being in your presence is like balm for children. Focus on them some of the time and on your activities some of time. They soak up a lot of sustenance just from being around you.
How do you feel about the above list? Did you wish to have all these needs met when you were growing up? What else is missing from the list? Please let me know what you think!
Above all, I think there is another basic need which affects parent-child relationships as we try to meet the needs mentioned above. It is the need of reconnecting with God (the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit) so that you and your children know and have comfort that you belong.
I did not know this until my son was almost 6-years-old. Now, watching how he and his wife are raising their kids, I am convinced of the importance for children to watch their parents walking with God, moment by moment. Parenting is not just telling your children the do's and don'ts of life. What better way to help them know the steadfast love and faithfulness of God forever than walking with God yourself? How precious it is to pass your faith onto your children so that they will find favor and good success in the sight of God and man? (Proverbs 3:1-4)
Therefore, "I will sing of the mercies of the Lord forever; with my mouth will I make known Your faithfulness to all generations." (Psalm 89:1)
Author's content used with permission, © Claire Communications