Monday, May 18, 2020

Grace Awakening on Mother's Day

My biggest joy on Mother's Day was when our son and his family Skyped us. Afterwards, James and I went out for our daily walk. Naturally we talked about his mother (Mama) and my Mom. As usual I missed my Mom who died young at age 48. This year we feel sad that we could not visit Mama who will be turning 98 soon. What has made the situation worse is that James' sister told us that Mama recently would sometimes forget that she has given birth to four children. I was lamenting about mothers when suddenly I heard James said, "Life is a bliss..."

got upset before he could finish his sentence and began to attack him verbally. My intense anger almost caused James to walk away, but he chose to stay with me. Soon after that I also chose to stop scolding him. As we continued to walk, we gave ourselves a chance to understand and be understood by sharing our feelings, thoughts and needs with each other.

The next morning, I made a collage with selected photos from 2017 to 2019. Let me give you a tour from the lowest left corner going clockwise.

I was holding my fourth granddaughter in 2017 while reading to her older brothers and sister. Afterwards, their Mommy took us out for ice cream. See how they had to stand on chairs to pick out favor? Two years later, I was holding my fifth granddaughter. Can you see how she looked back into my eyes? Her little big sister has become a toddler who loves playing with her little big brother! Before I returned to California, we celebrated Mother's Day ahead of time. My oldest granddaughter made me a beautiful bracelet and her younger brother cooked "egg in the hole" breakfast for all of us one Sunday before we went to church!



















I flew back to San Francisco on Friday so that I could visit Mama with James on Mother's Day (see the oval photo in the middle). As usual, we had dinner, sang praises, and studied the Bible. Before we left, Mama asked us to stay overnight, and then take her to the park the next morning. Oh, how we cherish our weekly walk around Stow Lake in Golden Gate Park all those years. See those photos of James walking with Mama in 2017-2018.

Due to the pandemic, Mother's Day 2020 was not easy for any of us. I feel helpless and sad whenever I think of people who died prematurely and others who have amnesia in old age and lose memories of their lives. When James wanted to share his thought on life, I cut him off too soon. As we walked, he finished telling me, "Life is a bliss either long or short because being alive is a gift from God. I just want to enjoy life with you."

God understands, forgives, heals, and never forgets His children. What a blessing it is to know Him!

“Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you!" (Isaiah 49:15)

If you are overwhelmed by stress, anxiety, fear, doubt and uncertainty during this pandemic, you are not alone. Please let me know and I will pray for you. If you want to talk with me, please book a 30-minute F.R.E.E. consultation on my ParentingABCtoday.com website. May God bless you!

Better Late than Never. Belated Happy Mother's Day! 

Friday, May 15, 2020

May 15 2020 Speech for Voice Training

Hello, my name is Winnis Chiang and I help couples. Today I'm going to talk about relationships and communication in marriage and family.

Connections in life are important.  When someone said, "I don't care!" (whether it is "I DON'T CARE!" or "i dont care"), that person is probably is looking for someone who cares and yearning to be connected.

Relationship struggles, while extremely tough at times, are quite normal.  Have you or a friend said the following:


Everyday conversations are turned into arguments filled with criticisms or personal attacks
We avoid certain conversations because we know it will end up in a fight.
I thought we were soulmates.  Now we are worse than roommates!


With these craziness going on at home, I don't know whats going to happen to my child?
I feel disconnected and wonder what happened to the love we used to share.
Disagreement about parenting, money, in-laws, chores have turned us into enemies.
I am desperate and I feel hopeless.  I really don't know whether there is any way to move forward.

These struggles are not uncommon for couples.  I know because I was there.

In fact, normal couples are supposed to have growing pain in their relationships.  But what if the patterns of negative communications and painful interactions repeated themselves so much that they become triggers and automatic reactions that are destructive?

That's why I love to help individuals and couples to get the relationships they really want based on my own experience of growing pain.

You see, I met my husband in college and we got married after only three months of dating, I thought we would live happily ever after.  Imagine my shock when the honeymoon is over.

Like most Asian parents, we both love our son.  So we argued a lot about parenting.  He said I argued and I said he never listened.  I was feeling depressed and I thought about getting a divorce, but I didn't bring it up because I didn't want to hurt my son.


To make the long stroy short, it was during those times of hopelessness and despair that Jesus Christ found me and save me from my misery of living on my own terms, and the rest is history.  Our only son has grown up, got married, and now has five children of his own.  This year James and I will celebrate our 45th anniversary.  I know that relationships are challenging; yet I believe enormous growth is possible.  

I believe I exist to help couples to flourish and build stronger relationships and to prevent premature and unnecessary divorces.  Your issue might be something occurring just under the surface of the relationship, or it could be hidden within negative cycles of fighting and disconnection that have lasted for years.

One of our most important connections is with a romantic partner.  This relationship can be a great source of joy and support, yet it can also cause a great deal of pain and push us to confront difficult aspects of ourselves.  Whether you are in the middle of a crisis, struggling through a difficult transition, discovering unpleasant behaviors, or want to build a strong foundation for the future.  I am here to help you, directly or indirectly, get the support, strength and growth you want.

I love to help couples and families to live, love and work together.  Last Christmas, my husband and I had the privilege and joy to serve with our son in a Christian Mission Conference.  Right now, we are learning voice training together so that all three of us could be better speakers.  I'm grateful that our Savior and Lord Jesus Christ saved me 31 years ago and put us into this new path.

I help you work through frustration, anger, resentment to get to workable solutions.  My greatest pleasure is seeing couples emerge from a difficult or even traumatic situation feeling more intimately connected and committed than they ever thought possible.

I help couples with their major communication breakdowns.  I not only work to solve current problems but will give you a foundation of skills that will last a life time.

I have learned that couples improve their relationships faster with a thorough understanding of the dynamics underlying their behavior, and I'd like to invite you to my upcoming workshop called,

Breaking Destructive Cycles and Building Constructive Communication: Help, NOT hurt, the people you love.

You may choose to join me in the workshop in your preferred language:  English, Mandarin and Cantonese.  Please sign up on my website, ParentingABCToday.com

Monday, May 11, 2020

愛喜樂生命 Love, Joy and Life

How was your Mother's Day? Did you miss going out to eat? Were you sad you could not get together with people you love? Were you happy when you could use the phone, Whatsapp, WeChat, LINE, Text Msg, Facetime, Skype and/or Zoom to stay in touch?

My answers are Yes, Yes, Yes and Yes. I tried to keep in touch with family, friends, brothers and sisters in our church family. This Mother's Day could be quite difficult for the sandwich generation who are caring for both elderly parents and their own children.

Instead of write this ezine, I looked at old photos and make a collage for Mother's Day. Please start with the bracelet from the middle bottom and travel clockwise around until ending at bottom right.

(1) Receiving a bracelet of LOVE made by granddaughter when I visited them last year.
(2) Reading to three grandkids while holding my fourth grandbaby.
(3) When little sister became big sister, she likes to feed herself.
(4) Holding my fifth granddaughter who was looking into my eyes.
(5) Taking three oldest grandkids out for Cold Stone Ice Cream.
(6) Enjoying breakfast made by grandson to celebrate Mother's Day ahead of time.
(7), (8) and (9) James walking with his mom in Golden Gate Park.
(10) Celebrating Mother's Day with James' mom last year upon my return.

As I was picking out photos and making the collage, a Chinese song came to mind and I started singing. Here is the song "Love, Joy and Life" on Youtube.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pyIljkJKZso

The song is written in Chinese but I have found a youtube that also has English subtitle.

Time cannot quench His love
For He loves me to ten thousand generations.
The world cannot hinder His love
because His love for me will never change.
His love prevails over death's dark haze.
His love drives away worry and sorrow.
Let the love of God overflow our hearts.
Joyful springs welling up from the depths of our hearts.
Worries are no more ... We have a life of joy.
Let the love of God overflow our hearts.
Life's sparkle bursting from the depths of our hearts.
Tears are no more ... We have everlasting life.

時空不能隔絕祂的愛 因祂愛我直到萬代 世界不能阻擋祂的愛 因祂愛我永不更改 祂的愛勝過死亡陰霾 祂的愛驅走憂愁悲哀 讓主愛澆灌我們的心 喜樂泉源湧自心底 憂愁不再 我們有喜樂的生命 讓主愛充滿我們的心 生命火花揚自心底 淚水不再 我們有永恆的生命

Happy Mother's Day!