Living a Joyful Life

That day, I lay on the left side of my bed.  Although I could still move my arms and legs slightly, my torso was like a bag of flour, unable to move. Trapped in that position, staring at the ceiling, My heart was filled with sadness and anxiety. Would I ever recover?

Suddenly, my husband walked into the room and said, "Granddaughters are here with something for you."

Oh, they're here to visit the sick. I slowly raised the head of the bed that pushed my torso so that I could sit up diagonally.

Our three granddaughters came in. The middle girl excitedly handed me a piece of paper with three autumn leaves glued on it. "NaiNai, for You."

"Oh! Thank you, it's so beautiful."

The youngest girl looked a little scared in this temporary ward. I asked her, "Do you want NaiNai to read you a book? But I can only read one."

She nodded. Big sister immediately sent her two younger sisters to get the book while she continued to stand next to me and look  at me with concerned eyes. When the little sisters came back, Big sister picked up the youngest and put her on my bed. The middle sister wisely ran to stand on the other side of me.

I cleared my throat and started reading slowly, a little out of breath at first. Unexpectedly, I soon started telling stories almost as vividly as before, speaking in the voices of Papa, Mama, Brother, and Sister Bear, as if I had forgotten my illness. Three autumn leaves and three little angels made me see the invisible God.

"(A prayer of Moses the man of God.) Lord, you have been our dwelling place throughout all generations. Before the mountains were born or you brought forth the whole world, from everlasting to everlasting you are God. You turn people back to dust, saying, 'Return to dust, you mortals.'” (Psalm 90:1-3).

In the blink of an eye, more than a year has passed. My health has its ups and downs but instead of giving up, I focus on the next holidays like Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, etc. and everyone's upcoming birthdays. In fact, I am very grateful to live one more day because:

"Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness." (Lamentations 3:22-23)

Reciting Psalm 90 and meditating on the verses day and night gave me a better and deeper understanding of God, man, and the relationship between them. Every verse is a wise saying, but two verses jumped out to tell me: What is the most important thing in life every day? What can we pray for?

"Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days. Make us glad for as many days as you have afflicted us, for as many years as we have seen trouble." (Psalm 90:14-15)

The apostle Paul’s secret to living out Christ is: "Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer." (Romans 12:12)

"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!" (Philippians 4:4)

My friend, are you willing to live a joyful life? Please listen to what the Lord Jesus taught His disciples:

"Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete." (John 16:24)

And the Peace Which Transcends All Understanding

During November, I wanted to finish my December’s article early, but it didn't happen. With visits from the physical and occupational therapists, and time with my family, I was feeling very tired and needed a lot of rest. I actually didn't have enough energy or time to write because I could only move in slow motion. But to me, writing is a kind of therapy because it makes me grateful and joyful.

Christmas was coming. I wanted to celebrate the birth of my Savior and my Lord with my pen. I texted my editor and asked her to wait for me. Graciously she said yes.

Unexpectedly, not only was my body at its limit, but my laptop suddenly had flickering issues, and even our network suddenly stopped working. My son tried his best to diagnose and fix it, but now the computer was very slow. Maybe it's also because of aging?

I prayed and meditated on "Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city, the guards stand watch in vain." (Psalm 127:1)

As the deadline approached, I kept praying to Jesus. He had already given me peace whether or not I could make it. Today is my last try. As I write, I pray and entrust ...

Most people hope to live in peace, hope for world peace, national peace and prosperity, and family harmony, but things often go against our wishes, because things are often unsatisfactory in life. Many times, our mood cannot be calmed, and we often struggle in various ways or feel angry, disappointed, sad, anxious, fearful... there is just no peace.

Husbands and wives often conflict over how to raise their children, each holding their own opinions and refusing to give in to each other, thus losing harmony. They all think that the other person is wrong and not considerate, and feel sorry for themselves. The first time I sang "O What peace we often forfeit? O what needless pain we bear? All because we do not carry everything to God in prayer," I knew there was hope. That night I confessed my sins, repented, and reconciled with God. My heart was filled with peace that surpasses all understanding.

Dear friend, do you want to have peace? Please listen to the record in Luke Chapter 2:8-14:

And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.”

Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying, “Glory to God in the highest heaven, and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.”

Jesus, the Son of God, is the Word became flesh. He came to earth as a human being. A baby was wrapped in cloths lying in a manger. When he grew up, he was crucified and rose from the dead on the third day in order to save His people from their sins. Before He died, He said to His disciples:

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." (John 14:27)

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33)

My friend, what has taken away your peace?

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4:6-7)

Give Thanks in All Circumstances

That night, as family worship was about to begin, my son found the sheet music of "My Dearest Friend" from my piano bench. As soon as he played the guitar, I couldn't help but start singing, even though my throat was tight and it was hard to breathe. After singing that song, I suggested singing some familiar English songs because I like the whole family to participate.

A week later, my son came ready with slides and started our worship again with "My Dearest Friend". Each slide had one stanza, which included four lines of lyrics in Chinese characters, and corresponding lyrics in pinyin, in English, and Do Re Mi tunes. This way, everyone was able to sing, hum, or whistle. I was very grateful hearing the children singing my heartfelt words according to the pinyin:

Lord, you are the friend who knows me the most
Lord, you are my precious and closest friend
My heart is thinking of you every day
Hoping to meet face to face

In my living and every step I take
In this life, every stop along the way
Your hand is always- guiding- me
Keeping me right by your side

Tell me the way I should go
so I won't slip and fall towards death
Your- love is- long, wide, deep and high
My heart is amazed

With the Lord what do I need?
My heart is his / my heart is aligned
I have vowed to- follow the- Lord-
and [to] ne-ver- change

I seemed to be in pretty good health in previous years. Unexpectedly, I suffered severe back pain in May last year, which caught me off guard. Later, it was discovered that there were several spinal compression fractures, but they were not suitable for surgery. Suddenly I couldn't take care of myself, and it was hard to explain the pain and figure out what was going on inside me.

At that time, all I could do was to pray without ceasing. I thought about how the Lord Jesus had saved me, led me, and accompanied me in the past. He spoke to me with different scriptures every day. For example:

"I lift up my eyes to the mountains— where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth." (Psalm 121:1-2)

"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." (Psalm 139:13-14)

"Let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones you have crushed rejoice." (Psalm 51:8)

"A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones." (Proverbs 17:22)

I started wearing a special back spinal brace at the end of August last year and started monthly injections to treat osteoporosis in December, plus a nutrition plan and physical therapy to repair and build new bones and strengthen muscles. In May of this year, I thought I was much better when I no longer needed to wear the brace all day long. Unexpectedly, things went downhill again in June, and everything had to start over. To this day, I still need to wear a back brace all day and can only do very simple rehabilitation exercises, but thank God I am still alive.

Counting blessings and giving thanks can free our minds from worries. Try one or two of the following questions to cultivate a grateful heart.

1. What is the biggest gift (tangible or intangible) you have received this year?
2. What two things have changed your life this year?
3. What three things have helped your faith grow this year?
4. What are four blessings in your family that you would like to thank God for?
5. What are the five happy experiences you have had?
6. Even though we take them for granted, what six things in God’s creation are necessary for our existence?
7. Which seven people in your home or outside are you most grateful for?

In good times, we may take things for granted. During hard times, we complain about our misfortune. But how often do you and I encourage each other, help each other, and count God’s grace with thanksgiving?

Dear Lord Jesus, my most intimate friend, thank you for being with me and allowing me to deeply appreciate the love and faithfulness of God our Father. Please help me spend every day with joy and give thanks in everything:

"Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus." (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18)

Life's Choices Aren't All Easy

Life is always about making choices.

Imagine you're standing at the counter of your favorite ice cream shop and asking the server "What do you think I want?"

Of course you wouldn't do that. With a variety of ice cream flavors tempting you, making a choice may be difficult, but you'll do it. "Please give me Cherry Jubilee and Chocolate Night, put the chocolate on the bottom and get a scoop with lots of cherries in it for the top."

It’s true that most choices in life are not as simple as choosing between chocolate and vanilla, but what you choose, how you make the choice, or don't make them, is as important to your self-esteem as taking responsibility for yourself. 

There are two types of choices: Active — when you make something happen and live with the consequences; and Passive — when you "choose not to choose," and continue with the status quo. Passive choice may be because you believe that making any choice may lead to change and come with high risks.

Active choices can be painful; feelings of fear and vulnerability often accompany these decisions. Just because we know what's best for us doesn't make it any easier. This kind of choice-making is risky, too. The most difficult choices don't have any absolute right or wrong; there is no perfect solution. It takes great courage to face these hard decisions. 

On the other hand, the postponement of choice can have serious backlashes in the way of stress, depression, discouragement, apathy, even physical illness. Procrastination seldom has any favorable results.

Though in the end the choice is yours, getting to the place to be able to make a decision doesn't have to be a solo trip. Ask for help. Talking things out with another person can be helpful, especially someone who is on your side but has nothing at stake in your decision. Don’t forget that God is always waiting for you to ask Him for help.

Even just expressing your concerns may help you sort things out, and writing down the pros and cons will give you more clarity than keeping everything in your head. Getting some distance (emotional or physical) may make assessment easier, especially if that distance allows you to see the reality of the situation and not just your wishful thinking.

Even with thoughtful consideration, not every choice will be the right one. But wrong decisions don't make you wrong. And, trite as it may sound, one of the ways we learn is through the mistakes we make.

Not each of the choices you make will have profound effect on the whole of your life. But the ongoing and continuous act of making choices will.

Seeking God's will, making choices you believe in, making conscious, thoughtful choices, and taking responsibility for your choices are all signs of becoming a person of faith and commitment, like the biblical character Joshua.

"But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord." (Joshua 24:15)

Still worried about choosing? Please consider what Jesus Christ told his disciples and let our Lord guide you:

"You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you." (John 15:16)

Author’s content used  under license, © Claire Communications

Do Not Worry About Tomorrow

At its essence, worry is a useful reaction, helping us anticipate and avoid danger by taking constructive action. But too often, worry becomes an endless loop that makes it hard to focus and perform, and stresses our physical systems. Take the self-test below to see how well you handle worry.

1. I seem confident and carefree to everyone who knows me. Actually, that was when I kept my worries to myself because I didn’t want to burden anyone with sharing my concerns.

2. I write about my fears and worries. This seems to take some of the power out of them. After writing, creative solutions seem to just show up.

3. I lie in bed for two or three hours at night worrying, just hoping to fall back asleep. I feel tired all the time.

4. Getting involved with my family, friends, church, neighborhood, organizations, etc., gives me the sense of being part of something bigger than myself. When I turn my attention from inside to outside, my worries seem to disappear.

5. When I find myself worrying, I get up and move around. Action seems to relieve my anxiety and give me a better perspective.

6. What really works for me when I’m feeling nervous and afraid is to take a long walk, run or bike ride, or go work out. It seems like the more I move, the less I worry.

7. When my worries are on an endless cycle, I know it’s time to make a gratitude list. Focusing on the things I’m grateful for is like completely letting go of my worries.

8. My worries seem to come out of nowhere and out of control. When I'm stuck, I feel like I can't come up with any solutions.

9. I worry mostly about things that, in fact, have a very low probability of actually happening, such as going bankrupt, dying in a plane crash, getting fired, etc.

10. Instead of letting nighttime thoughts keep me from falling asleep, I focus on physical sensations, such as the feel of my sheets and the warmth of my body.

11. I try to catch my worrying as close to its beginning as possible. Then I take some time to relax, breathe deeply and get centered again.

12. When I'm lost in my worrying thoughts, I experience physical sensations that I rarely notice, such as a racing heart, sweating, and shaking.

13. The more repetitive my worrying becomes, the more persuasive it seems.

14. I worry about other people because I don’t really trust that they can take care of themselves.

15. When I worry about something, I take action. Then I let go, trusting that I have done all I could.

Shifting your worry to wonder opens up possibilities for curiosity and action rather than dread and immobility. It is not uncommon to think about "What will happen? How will it all turn out? How can I act to make the outcome the best it can be?" But don’t stress yourself out unnecessarily by worrying about what may or may not happen. The Lord Jesus knows your and my needs, and He also accepts that we will have worries. Please listen to His teachings:

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? ...

So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ ... your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." (Matthew 6:25-34)

                                                                                                                                                Author’s content used under license, © Claire Communications

How to Cope with Disappointment?

The story of Joseph's life is full of twists and turns and is recorded in the book of Genesis. Joseph's mother died after giving birth to his little brother. He was the favorite son of his father who made him a colorful coat. When his ten half-brothers saw that their father loved him so much, they hated him and did not speak harmoniously to him. Things got worse when Joseph shared two dreams meaning his family would prostrate to the ground and bow to him. This made his brothers even more hateful and jealous, mocking him as "that dreamer".

At age seventeen, Joseph was sold by his brothers to the Ishmaelites who took him to Egypt. Pharaoh's chamberlain, Potiphar, the captain of the guard, bought him as a slave. Because God was with Joseph, everything went smoothly for him, and his master left all the household chores in his hands. Unexpectedly, the master's wife fell in love with him and wanted to sleep with him. But Joseph was firm in his principle and would not listen to her or sleep with her, because "how could I do such a great evil and sin against God?"

One day, Joseph went into the house to work, and there was no one else there. The woman grabbed his clothes and said, "Come sleep with me!" Joseph threw the clothes in the her hands and ran outside. As a result, she falsely accused Joseph to her husband, "Your slave has treated me like this."

Potiphar was angry and had Joseph thrown into prison where the king's prisoners were kept. But God was with Joseph and showed him favor, making everything he did successful. The warden gave all the prisoners in the dungeon into Joseph's hands. Those included the king's cupbearer and the chief baker. Later, Joseph had the opportunity to interpret their separate dreams, and things seemed to finally be turning around.

“This is what it means,” Joseph said to him. “The three branches are three days. Within three days Pharaoh will lift up your head and restore you to your position, and you will put Pharaoh’s cup in his hand, just as you used to do when you were his cupbearer. But when all goes well with you, remember me and show me kindness; mention me to Pharaoh and get me out of this prison. I was forcibly carried off from the land of the Hebrews, and even here I have done nothing to deserve being put in a dungeon.” (Genesis 40:12-15)

Three days later, the cupbearer was indeed reinstated, but he did not remember Joseph and actually forgot about him for another two years ... Can you imagine Joseph's disappointment?

Disappointment is that feeling of being let down by a person, an expectation or a hope. It is a normal reaction that everyone experiences. But all too often, when we’re disappointed and especially need caring attention, we beat ourselves up instead. Take this quiz to reflect on your thinking and see how well you take care of yourself after a disappointment.

1. I recognize that disappointment is a part of life. When I experience a disappointment, it doesn’t mean I’m a bad person or that I deserved it.

2. When I experience disappointment, I allow myself to have my feelings. I realize that when I give emotions the time and attention they need and deserve, they tend to go away on their own.

3. With the help of a therapist, counselor, or in another safe environment, I can work through other feelings that disappointment brings to the surface. These feelings often include shock, hurt, and anger.

4. When faced with new disappointments, I avoid making immediate conclusions about my actions or role in the situation. Self-analysis has its place, but in the early stages it's more likely to be destructive self-blame and suppression of one's feelings.

5. I take steps to prevent disappointment from turning into depression or bitterness. These include healthy eating, getting plenty of sleep, exercising, and seeking support from family, friends, and counseling.

6. I don’t make major life decisions until my strong feelings subside and I begin to feel some enthusiasm or hope again.

7. If I am disappointed with a person, I will not reflexively end the relationship. when I feel calm, centered, and in a safe situation, I will engage in conversation with this person

8. When the intensity of the feeling has faded, I ask myself if there’s anything that I can salvage or learn from the situation.

9. Also, when I am feeling more hopeful, in order to gain insight, I ask myself, “What if this is not a setback, but actually what I want?” Among other things, my answers will reveal any ambivalence I may have had and may help make future endeavors more successful.

10. If I am repeatedly disappointed by life or other people, I am willing to consider what actions or beliefs of mine might be contributing to those experiences.

Disappointment doesn’t have to stop you from getting what you want in life. If you answered "no" to several of these questions, you may want to explore ways to better cope with disappointment. Let me pray for you in Christ, that God will be with you and show you grace.

"Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from Him." (Psalm 62:5)

Author’s content used under license, © Claire Communications

Building and Keeping A Positive Attitude

"Watch your attitude!"

"No! You watch your attitude!!!"

Such exchanges are common between parents and teenagers, or any two people who are having a heated argument. Usually, we instinctively blame the other person, but how often do we reflect and examine our own attitudes?

Attitude can affect how we feel and how others respond to us. A positive attitude can impact our physical health and emotional well-being, make hard things easier and easy things more fun. This is not to say that a positive attitude is a magic potion that will ward off any problems, but an optimistic outlook helps people work through the rough times with a belief in themselves and trust in the ultimate good. Try these suggestions to build and maintain a positive attitude.

1. Associate with positive people.

2. Take some action every day toward accomplishing a goal.

3. Eat fresh, healthy food; exercise your body and your mind.

4. Make a gratitude list.

5. Do something kind for someone or the planet.

6. Notice something beautiful every day.

7. Turn off bad news—radio, television, newspaper.

8. Look for what’s right instead of what’s wrong.

9. Celebrate the ordinary things.

10. For every no, say five yeses.

And one bonus suggestion: Remember to laugh.

The Bible does not use the word "attitude", but it tells us, "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." (Proverbs 4:23)

We cannot force others to change, but we can ask our Heavenly Father to change our own hearts. For example, to learn from the apostle Paul who have an attitude of "contentment" in Christ Jesus so that I can rely on the Lord to strengthen me when facing people and situations that make me dissatisfied.

"I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength." (Philippians 4:11-13)

Author’s content used under license, © Claire Communications