United as One

I enjoy chatting with my husband James, both listening and talking. Recently, I suddenly asked him, "James, do you understand me?" He replied, "I'm still getting to know you." I continued, "But I thought you understood me very well." He added, "But that doesn't mean I can always read your mind, because you're so unpredictable."

Another day, I asked him, "What do you like most about our marriage?" He blurted out, "Adventure." Then he paused, and seriously asked himself, "What do I like most about our marriage?" Finally, he answered thoughtfully, "You. Because without you, we would have no marriage."

First Conflict Occurred Over Squeezing Toothpaste

My whirlwind marriage to James was somewhat influenced by his parents. The first time we met, they showed up hand-in-hand. Their family of six were chatting and laughing, embracing and hugging, naturally radiating love and warmth. This made me, a lonely college student, yearn for a happy family. We married after dating for only a few months. At the time, I thought our love would last forever, and we would live happily ever after.

To my surprise, after getting married, James and I had our first argument over squeezing toothpaste. This might be a common pattern in many families, but for me, it marked the beginning of my shattered dreams. It turned out our personalities weren't entirely compatible; we had different backgrounds, interests, and pace of life. We were simply attracted to each other because of our differences. Initially, James was very accommodating, and I was very gentle with him, but in reality, we were both strong-willed. In the early years of our marriage, we experienced both wonderful and terrible times. Arguments about life direction and raising our son led to repeated disappointments as neither of us was willing to compromise.

He couldn't stand my temper tantrums. From his perspective, he couldn't understand the insecurity and fear I felt because of my family background. He tried to make me happy, but I was hard to please. I couldn't stand his reasoning, so he would remain silent, trying to ease the conflict, but I felt he was ignoring me. I accused him of not caring about me, while telling myself it wasn't worth arguing with him. He was no longer the graduate student who would take time to drive me around or sit down and chat with me. "Living happily ever after" wasn't as simple as the world promised; it was like a fading dream, and hope was fading. I needed to "take care" of myself and plan for my future by putting my energy into work.

Rebuilding Marriage on Solid Rock

Thank God we didn't remain in despair. Thirteen years into our marriage, I met Jesus, realized I was a sinner, repented, and came to Christ, experiencing God's unconditional love and acceptance. After knowing Christ, I understood that Jesus was my "closest friend," and realized that my expectation that James would meet all my needs put him in a dilemma. Thank God, within just a few years, my husband and son also came to faith, and I now understand how extraordinary it was that James had remained steadfast in staying with me.

When Jesus Christ entered our lives, everything changed. It wasn't just a change in behavior, but a change in our hearts. We stopped fighting with one another and began to learn how to submit to Him. We began to rebuild our marriages on solid rock, not just based on feelings. When Jesus Christ entered our families, the entire trajectory changed. We not only found new interests and directions, but also new paths. By God's grace, we embarked on a long, beautiful, and arduous journey of learning to understand the true meaning of love and to live out love in Christ:

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." (1 Corinthians 13:4-8)

Redefining Happiness and Being Together

Even when we're busy and tired, we still make time to sit down, even if it's just for 5 to 15 minutes. It's not just about chatting, but about listening to each other and cherishing the precious time we spend together. I'm so grateful that James makes time for me. When he's too busy, I no longer get angry, but pray for him because I know he's busy and tired too. We support each other, just like the song "You Raise Me Up" says, "Until you come and sit awhile with me."

"But with God all things are possible." God shows us that a happy marriage is not because the two people are perfect, but because they are united and live in Christ. We have redefined "to live happily ever after" and true joy comes from a life built on the rock of Christ, which stands firm even in the fiercest storms. We hope that our son, daughter-in-law and grandchildren will see not just a long marriage, but a long period of submission moving in the same direction following Christ.

We had a simple 50th wedding anniversary celebration with our family and offered our praise to God. In a world where people give up at the first sign of trouble, when two people decide to stay together "through thick and thin," the Lord shows us His grace and mercy. When our hearts turn, we realize that Christ is the bond that holds us together.

Over the past two or three years, my health has presented many challenges. Every day, whether visiting the doctor or spending a quiet afternoon, we say, "I trust in Him," and we see God manifesting His presence more clearly. Our faithfulness is not measured by how much we can do, but by how much we trust. We trust in a God who walks with us through our suffering. Dear Lord! Thank You for showing us that although our strength is little, You are enough.

While in jail, the apostle Paul wrote these words, "As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace." (Ephesians 4:1-3)

New Year's Hope and Comfort

"What are your plans for the New Year?" This is a common question, but for someone over seventy years old suffering from a chronic illness, it's not an easy question to answer. It's not that I don't believe in plans, it's just that I've experienced too many unexpected things, making it difficult to make plans now. I just want to live each day well, in the presence of the Lord.

Reflecting on God's love, grace, mercy, and faithfulness, I plan to begin a new way of life. I pray that in the new year, I will not be defined by my physical ailments, but by the sweetness of God's Holy Spirit. My Heavenly Father loves me so much that He sent His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ, to save me! Please allow me to share with You the comfort, joy, and hope that God has given me in the new year.

Comforted by God who Sustains

God has said, "Even to your old age and gray hairs I am He, I am He who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you." (Isaiah 46:4)

After retiring and moving, I suddenly fell ill and remained sick for almost three years, a period that shocked and disheartened me. However, what I have learned from this experience is that I no longer need to "gather" my strength; now, it is only God who sustains me. I have accepted God's sovereignty and seen His goodness and love in my situation. I pray that in the new year, we can all draw closer to our Lord and rely on Him completely in all things, big and small.

Joyful as a Child of God

One day, instead of asking me to watch videos, play games, or tell stories as usual, my six-year-old granddaughter asked, "NaiNai, may I read to you?" I thought I misheard, because not long ago she had said she couldn't read and always needed me to read to her. "You want to read to me, right?" "Yes, because I've never read to you before." I was naturally very happy to hear this, because she had only been in first grade for a few months!

Although I often teach others that "being" is more important than "doing," I myself am still unconsciously focusing on work. I am grateful that I can continue writing even when my efficiency is extremely low, and I thank the readers who have written to encourage me to share my testimonies. Although I don't have the energy to devote to my family, my value lies in companionship and listening, not in efficiency of work. I pray that God will make joy the guiding principle of my life; I pray that the Lord Jesus will help you and me remember that Christian joy is related to "whom we belong to," not to what we do.

Hopeful with Inner Renewal

The Bible delivers a powerful declaration: "Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day." (2 Corinthians 4:16). To my surprise, my heart and mind have undergone many changes in the past few years. I have gained a deeper understanding and closer relationship with God, others, and myself.

I pray that the new year will bring about an inside out "new creation" who is living "in Christ" at all times. Regardless of physical condition, may we possess spiritual vitality, abundant mental energy, and unwavering willpower.

Grateful for Encouragement and Support

Without the devoted care of my family, friends, medical staff, and especially my husband, I simply could not have survived the past few years. Sometimes, I felt sad because of my illness, feeling like I couldn't help and was only a burden to my husband, son, and daughter-in-law. But I know they have always love me, no matter what I am like. Nevertheless, words alone cannot express my gratitude to them. In fact, their faith in the Lord, their love, and their joy have truly given me immense strength. I would like to dedicate a prayer I read, the gist of which is as follows, to them and to caregivers worldwide:

Heavenly Father, please grant your servants divine patience and emotional resilience. When overwhelmed, remind us that we need not be sources of strength, but simply vessels through which your power flows. Grant us discernment and wisdom. In moments of silence, grant our hearts rest, and may your peace guard us in the new year. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen!

In the new year, whatever we face, let us remember that God has His plan and purpose for our lives. "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." (Jeremiah 29:11). "But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." (Isaiah 40:31)

Immanuel – God with Us

It was a bitterly cold day. There were no available handicap parking spaces. My husband James temporarily parked the van at the drop off zone and helped me out carefully. I told him to go ahead to find parking. I then pushed my walker and slowly walked into the open courtyard that connected to the clinic entrance.

Sustained by God's Word in the Wind

I zipped up my hooded coat and covered my head. I felt a bit warmer, but my vision was only a few steps ahead. I took each step carefully, trying not to fall. The wind was strong, and I had to stop several times to adjust my hood. How I wished James was there with me.

Suddenly, a familiar verse in the Bible came to mind: "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." (Isaiah 41:10)

I read this verse soon after becoming a Christian. At that time, I was still deeply troubled by the hit-and-run accident I had experienced on Highway 101 many years earlier. That accident left me with severe psychological trauma; I was always afraid of being hit by a drunk driver from behind, to the extent that I couldn't help but check my rearview mirror while driving. This verse let me know that God was with me and that He would protect and help me. So I made it a habit to pray with this verse as soon as I got in the car. One day, my fear of driving disappeared.

I began to silently recite this verse and walked toward the clinic in faith. God was with me; I was not alone, for God said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” (See Hebrews 13:5)

Remembering the Suffering of the Lord Jesus on Earth

Although James could not park the car and walk with me at the same time, our Creator God the Father is not limited by time, space, or matter. But how can one come to know God? This is precisely why Jesus, the Word, became flesh and dwelt among us: "No one has ever seen God, but the one and only Son, who is Himself God and is in closest relationship with the Father, has made Him known." (John 1:18)

The Apostle John wrote: "That which was from the beginning, which we have heard, which we have seen with our eyes, which we have looked at and our hands have touched—this we proclaim concerning the Word of life. The life appeared; we have seen it and testify to it, and we proclaim to you the eternal life, which was with the Father and has appeared to us."  (1 John 1:1-2)

When Jesus lived on earth, He also experienced temptations, challenges and sufferings, but He knew, “A time is coming and in fact has come when you will be scattered, each to your own home. You will leave me all alone. Yet I am not alone, for my Father (God) is with me." (John 16:32)

The Good News that God is with Us

In the United States, about one-third of adults report feeling lonely, and one-quarter report a lack of social and emotional support. With Christmas approaching, my friend, do you know the meaning of Christmas and the two names of Jesus?

"This is how God showed His love among us: He sent His one and only Son into the world that we might live through Him." (1 John 4:9)

"She will give birth to a son, and you are to give Him the name Jesus, because He will save His people from their sins.... All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet: The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and they will call Him Immanuel (which means “God with us”)." (Matthew 1:21-23)

Outstretched Arms and Mighty Hands

One day I was very tired and wanted to take a nap. I slowly moved my body to lie down, and there came the sharp back pain. I've gotten used to pains during rehabilitation, but undeniably, these ups and downs leave me exhausted, and sometimes I feel like I can't go on.

Everyone Extended Their Right Arm to Me

Although I knew that the Lord Jesus was with me and understood my pain, I still felt confused, wronged, and sad. I lay there silently weeping, and drifted off to sleep. It felt like I slept for a long time. The gloom I felt before falling asleep was gone, and I thanked the Lord for still being with me. Suddenly, I heard the soft sound of a door opening and closing downstairs. I guessed it was my son, and immediately used the hospital bed to slowly sit up. Just as I was focusing on how to get out of bed, I heard my eldest granddaughter's voice: "Hi, NaiNai."

I was overjoyed: "Oh, you've come!" She stood by the bed, giving me her sweetest smile: "I came with Baba to see you. NaiNai, what are you doing?"

I slowly moved my left leg towards the edge of the bed. "I just woke up and wanted to get up." Immediately she extending her right arm and said, "May I help you?"

I looked at the teenage girl and said, "Thank you, but NaiNai might be too heavy for you." "Okay. I'll go find Baba." She hurriedly ran out.

I closed my eyes and continued to focus on moving my lower body. Hearing footsteps, I opened my eyes and saw my husband James, our son, and granddaughter lined up around my bed and at its foot, each of them extending their right arm towards me. At that moment, I earnestly wished to take a picture.

God Often Saves Us with His Mighty Hand

James stood closet by my bed. As usual, he knew not to pull me up by force, so he patiently watched me slowly turn my lower body, and once I was in position, I grabbed his arm and pulled myself up.

I didn't take any photos, but I'll never forget this moment. I believe God is in control of every detail of my life. Behind all this love, there is an unseen hand. I remember the Bible mentioning many times how God uses His powerful hands and outstretched arms to save His people; He will also save and help you and me in the same way, because: "The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms." (Deuteronomy 33:27a)

Arms We Can Always Rely On

I once knew a friend who was going through a very difficult time, weathering one storm after another, feeling hopeless and helpless. All I could do was be there for her, listening, comforting, and praying to my Heavenly Father to give her a way out. One day, she suddenly told me that she had accidentally heard a song called "Leaning on the Everlasting Arms" the night before, and she liked it very much and felt peaceful. Thank God!

God is good, and He is the source of love. This love is gracious, faithful, loyal, and steadfast. God is full of love, mercy, and grace forever. The one true God is in control of everything; will we trust in Him? Will we live under His absolute sovereignty? Having repeatedly experienced God's presence, protection, and promises, how then we are to express our gratitude?

Psalm 136, from its beginning to the end, reminds us to praise and give thanks to God. Each verse reiterating the phrase "His love endures forever." Each verse also provides experiential examples demonstrating God's work. This psalm can serve as a model for our praise and thanksgiving, and we can all give thanks in all circumstances —— "Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good. His love endures forever....With a mighty hand and outstretched arm; His love endures forever.... Give thanks to the God of heaven.  His love endures forever." (Psalm 136:1,12,26)

Jeremy Lin: God's Amazing Works

In February 2012, 23-year-old Jeremy Lin led the New York Knicks to a string of consecutive wins in the NBA, prompting fans to coin the term "Linsanity." How could an undrafted reserve player rise to worldwide fame in a single week? Numerous reports and stories have emerged about "Linsanity." Some claim it was a fleeting phenomenon, others say it was a matter of luck and timing, a matter of place and people, unremarkable. But the impossible became possible, and those involved deeply understood it to be a miracle.

Jeremy Lin's Basketball Journey

In December 2011, Jeremy Lin was waived by the Golden State Warriors and subsequently drafted and waived by the Houston Rockets. When he joined the New York Knicks, he was still confined to the bench, with no chance of even playing, let alone starting. Then his opportunity came, he seized it, and then he made history! At the end of August 2025, Jeremy Lin announced his retirement from professional basketball on Instagram:

"As athletes, we are always aware that the possibility of retirement is never far away. I’ve spent my 15 year career knowing that one day I would have to walk away, and yet actually saying goodbye to basketball today has been the hardest decision I’ve ever made.

It's been the honor of a lifetime to compete against the fiercest competitors under the brightest lights and to challenge what the world thought was possible for someone who looks like me. I've lived out my wildest childhood dreams to play in front of fans all around the world. I will forever be the kid who felt fully alive every time I touched a basketball. 

So many people have sacrificed and poured into my journey, more than I could ever repay. Thank you all for believing in me, for walking with me, for celebrating my highs and picking me up in my lows. This is a ride I never wanted to end but I know it’s time. I will forever miss playing basketball in front of you all but our time will go beyond just playing. Here’s to what’s ahead. Love you all."

The Role of Basketball in Life

Basketball was once one of my favorite sports. Believe it or not, I made my high school team. Although we never won any games, I learned and practiced the sport I loved. In my 30s, working as a software engineering manager, I still played three-on-three basketball with my male colleagues under the scorching sun. I wasn't as tall, strong, or quick as them, but my shooting improved, earning me the nickname "Downtown Winnis." This was because I had a 6-foot-7 colleague to protect me, and the other colleagues tried their best not to bump into me. Looking back, that is grace.

I also enjoyed playing basketball with young people, especially my own son. When he was ten, my husband James and I took him on a short-term mission trip to an Indian reservation. The team members consisted primarily of high school students, their youth counselors, and a few parents. Before the trip ended, we exchanged thank-you notes. One read, "Dear Auntie Winnis, thank you for playing basketball with us in the scorching sun. This shows us your care for young people. It demonstrates the love of Jesus!" Those teenagers were also full of grace.

From Sport Fan to the Father of Sport Star

Back to Jeremy Lin. I'm grateful for the opportunity to know Jeremy's family, to minister to children at church with his mother Shirley and watch our kids grow up. All three Lin sons love basketball. Every day, Jeremy's father Gie-ming waits for his children to finish their homework before taking them to play basketball. Loving basketball, Jeremy continued to attend Sunday worship and youth group during high school despite his busy academic and basketball schedules. He also served as a teaching assistant at our church's Sunday School and served as a game leader at Vacation Bible school for several years. His parents helped him pursue his dreams while also learning how to manage his time and priorities and shaping his character through faith. For almost his entire basketball years, he worked hard to get opportunities and hence proved some critics wrong.

While attending university in Taiwan, Jeremy's father became fascinated with NBA games through television. Although he only saw highlights, he knew the famous players well. He longed to study in the United States, dreaming not only of academic success but also of watching full games on television.

In his early 30s, he began playing basketball for fitness and later joined an amateur basketball team. When his three sons were born, from a few years old, each followed their father and older brother(s) to play basketball. Jeremy's father set an example by working hard and personally taking his children to play basketball whenever he had free time. However, he insisted that his sons prioritize both schoolwork and exercise: "Finish your homework first, then we'll go play."

Going Through the Ups and Downs with God's Grace

Because of such early start, each child was able to join the school basketball team. Around 2009, Jeremy was interviewed in college and talked about his past: "I didn't expect to play in college. Honestly, I didn't know if I was going to be able to play in high school. I was always one of the smallest guys. I went into high school at 5'3", 125 pounds, and every day I came home from practice asking my parents if I would grow taller. So, physically, I was so far behind. I was just trying to make the varsity team, let alone play in college. I had no idea what God had in store for me. That's why everyday, when I wake up and go to practice, I remind myself to be grateful that I have been so blessed. I could try to take credit for whatever success I've had, but honestly I see my basketball career as a miracle.”

Jeremy has always loved basketball, so he constantly works hard, expresses gratitude, and prays, knowing that it is God who has enabled him to grow taller and stronger and given him opportunities. Even if things don't always go his way, he persists in his faith, accepts God's sovereignty, strives toward his goals, and is always ready to seize opportunities.

None of this is a coincidence. After the "Linsanity" miracle, things didn't always go smoothly for Jeremy. Instead, it felt like a long road ahead. He was traded to multiple teams and plagued by injuries. But by God's grace, he worked tirelessly to recover, weathering highs and lows, becoming an inspiration to many, and continuing to play until retirement. I would like to wish Jeremy and his family all the best, and I thank God for giving me the opportunity to see how He shapes each person according to His will, wisdom, and plan.

"For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." (Ephesians 2:10)

Using Story To Heal The Past And Change The Future

When we think of "story," we tend to think of three bears, a girl with loathsome stepsisters, or the latest novel we've read. But story is integral to our personal lives, as well as our collective culture.

From Loss to Belonging

A few months after I married James, my mother passed away suddenly in Hong Kong. As a result, my first Thanksgiving with my new family was not as happy as I had imagined. For one thing, at that time I only knew James' family for a few months. For another, theirs is a close-knit Mandarin speaking family. Even though they tried their best to talk with me in English and their limited Cantonese, I still felt left out. I later realized that the biggest impact on me was my inner insecurity and fear. Interacting with them reminded me of my family back in Hong Kong, and not only did I miss my mother deeply, but I also felt reeling from the shadows of my family of origin. Even when someone expressed their love, my emotional baggage prevented me from enjoying the present moment

After becoming a Christian in 1989, I experienced a new sense of belonging. For the next few years, we attended our church retreat every Thanksgiving weekend, and experienced the church family as my home. When those annual retreats were moved to the summer, we resumed celebrating Thanksgiving with James' family. With my new perspective and attitude, I finally belong with James' family and enjoy time with them.

Change Your Story, Change Your Life

A popular teaching holds that we have the power to change our lives simply by changing our thoughts. This shift stems from recognizing that our thoughts are an ordered structure of reality, part of a story we're living. Instead of getting caught up in an endless stream of chaotic thoughts mid-sentence, examine the story you're telling yourself about yourself and decide how to rewrite it.

Jim Loehr, author of "The Power of Story: Change Your Story, Change Your Destiny in Business and in Life", says the stories we tell about our work, relationships, accomplishments and shortcomings determine our success in life and their destiny.

Here are some exercises to help you become aware of the stories that shape your life and reduce the influence of those that work against you:

Discover What You Learned from Your Life Stories

Divide a piece of paper into two columns. On the left, list the significant stories from various stages of your life and your understanding of those events. On the right, briefly describe what you learned from each experience or the decision you made.

Healing Past Experiences by Changing Your Story

Choose a difficult childhood event, or one that led you to make unhelpful decisions, and write about it. What happened? How did you feel at the time? Now, rewrite the story with a different ending. Use your imagination. Any outcome is possible.

Life stories can be filled with twists and turns, like the story of Joseph recorded in Genesis. He was his father's favorite son, dreaming of greatness. However, his life was not always smooth sailing. At 17, Joseph was betrayed by his 10 older brothers and sold to slave traders into slavery in Egypt. Who could have imagined that Joseph would become God's messenger, saving his father's entire family, including those who had betrayed him?

Years later, when his brothers were safely settled in Egypt, they became afraid that Joseph would avenge what they had done. After their father's death, the brothers fabricated a story to protect themselves from this possible threat. Genesis 50 records Joseph's stance: "His brothers then came and threw themselves down before him. 'We are your slaves,' they said. But Joseph said to them, 'Don’t be afraid. Am I in the place of God? You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.'"

Don't let your past wounds kidnap your future. With God's help, you too can rewrite the ending of your story!

Discover Your Core Story

Explore how you view the "Five Dimensions" of yourself: work, family, health, money, and love. Write a page for each dimension. How do you feel about these aspects of your life? What did you learn as a child? Does the story you tell about one area undermine the values ​​and beliefs you hold in another? If any story doesn't align with your goals, start telling a different story.

Seeing your life as a story is a powerful way to understand its meaning, connect with your experiences, and share in their richness. When you realize that your stories can change, you have the power to improve your life.

"Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will." (Romans 12:2)

Author’s content used under license, © Claire Communications

The Importance of Entertainment and Play

Do you feel that there is less and less time for leisure and entertainment in life? High technology and fast-paced life have created a culture of always working, always rushing, and always connected.

Finding Happiness in Busyness

With cell phones interrupting the theater, laptop computers at the beach, internet connections at every other café, and home offices that beckon us all hours of the night and day, it's hard to separate "play" from "work." However, play is crucial.

Have you seen kids staring at their homework for hours but going nowhere? Instead of scolding, lecturing, threatening, yelling, and nagging, try to look beyond the surface symptoms and understand what's happening inside them. When they complain about school, homework, and activities they don’t like, what’s the reason?

Whether adults like it or not, kids like to play. Indeed play brings pleasure. I often ask children what they like most about school, and the most common answer is "recess." It is so sad to see that children have less and less time to move around freely and play. In play, we discover joy, develop a sense of accomplishment, and gain a sense of belonging. In play, we learn, grow, and find an outlet to release stress.

When we fully immerse ourselves in recreation and leisure, worries and anxieties fade away. Whether we're running, walking, playing ping-pong or basketball, or immersing ourselves in a good novel, we feel joyful, energized, and relaxed. Nothing makes us more present than this.

Discovering Each Other's Fun

Often times, playing, laughing, and having fun put people at ease. Children of all ages (including youths and adults) can best focus their energy on learning, growing and performing when they feel emotionally secured.

Long ago, facing the pressures of life, I saw my husband James playing chess on the computer. I asked him, "With such a tight schedule and so many things to do, why are you still playing chess?" His answer shocked me: "I need to relax." That was when I understood his need. For someone who loves to think, having time to focus on other things is a great distraction and a coping mechanism for stress. While I don't relax by playing chess, I do find myself relaxing by playing Tetris on the computer when I'm at my most stressed.

Our eldest grandson also loves to play chess. A few years ago, James taught him how to play chess over video chat. The two of them teamed up to play against a computer. Clearly, playing chess brought them both joy and interaction. After we moved closer, James also taught him how to play Chinese chess. One night at dinner, I shared the story about James playing chess to relax. A few days later, near the end of dinner, our eldest grandson asked, "Yeye, do you need to relax after dinner?" This phrase has become a codeword for inviting him to play chess.

These memories remind me of the times when our son was growing up: I played Lego with him, told him stories, played ping-pong and basketball with him; and James played chess and various strategy games with him. It was amazing to see how much a child could learn while having fun.

When things are going well, you might enjoy working constantly because it's exciting, thrilling, and fun. I was a workaholic like that when I was young. However, with looming deadlines and a demanding boss, you might lose focus. If your boss or coworkers are overly demanding, the pressure might even cause you to call in sick. Similarly, our kids might lose interest in school if it is no longer fun.

Having Fun with Family and Friends

Life is too short. Think about what and who are really important to you when all is said and done! Any time you have the choice of whether to work "just one more hour" or give yourself over to play, consider what Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "This time, like all times, is a very good one, if we but know what to do with it." If you feel like you're losing free time and unstructured play in your life, try these suggestions:

• Turn-off. Turn off the television, computer, beeper and cell phone for at least two hours a day.
• Let your mind wander. Recall what you used to enjoy doing or what you always wanted to do before we became so technology-oriented.
• Include others. Invite someone over to play and hang out, just like you used to when you were a kid. Nothing planned, nothing structured. Let your play evolve naturally.
• Think physical. Go for a walk, ride your bike, rent some skates, play basketball ... go for a swim or a run.
• Pretend. Just for a moment, pretend you don't have any cares or worries. Pretend you have all the time in the world to laugh and play and enjoy. The truth is, you don’t need to pretend at all, just turn to the Lord Jesus.

"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 4:4-7).