Come Sit Awhile with Me

One day my husband had to leave the house before 6:40 a.m. for an all-day meeting. Knowing James prefer oatmeal than donuts, I got up to fix breakfast. While cooking, lots of thoughts went through my mind.

Just oatmeal. I'm sleepy. Scrambled eggs? James would love that. Tired. May be I will go back to bed once he starts eating. Oh, asparagus that I already washed on Sunday ... It would be good to just sit with him for awhile.

James obviously enjoyed his breakfast. Suddenly, he looked up and said, "Thanks for getting up early and fixing breakfast. I so appreciate you eating with me. Do you know that in the song You Raise Me Up, the phrase 'Come and Sit Awhile with Me' always moves me? It means so much that you sit with me, even just for 15 minutes. I know you are tired."

My eyes got moist. "Thanks. I was tired. Part of me did not want to get up. Part of me just wanted to get breakfast done and go back to sleep. I wasn't ready to eat. But I wanted to sit awhile with you. Now you are telling me the same thing. Come Sit Awhile with me. I actually thought about that."

"Glad to hear. Now I can see that every week when we just sit, talk, sing or walk with Mom, we are giving her a gift."

Human beings yearn for belonging and connection. Every person needs a friend who would listen, or sit, fish, or play basketball with. Caring is not just feeling sorry for someone when bad things happen. Caring is not just doing things for family members out of duty. As followers of Christ, we can learn how to joyously help people by being there. CARE requires being Compassionate, Accepting, Respectful, and Empathetic. As followers of Christ, we already have a new life. With the Holy Spirit dwelling in us, we can all become encouraging helpers, like brother Barnabas, by the grace of God.

Let Them Know You Care!

What did you do when you heard news like the recent bombing in New York and the train crash in New Jersey? For many of us, we called or texted our loved ones who live or work around there, and we prayed and waited.

I remember one late night prayer request from a sister in our care group:

“So and so just called. Her mother is in ER now and … not breathing. She is crying … just ask us to pray for her.”

My heart sank. I was physically exhausted and needed to go to bed, and I had a few long days ahead. What could I do? Pray!

Moments later, there was a message from the sister herself, “Thanks for your prayer. Here is updated info of my mother ... ICU … I will trust in Lord totally … Peace be with us!”

I gave thanks to God and sent a short note. Another sister wrote, “May I go to the hospital to see you and your mom tomorrow” and to the rest of us, “Dear Sisters, Can any one of you come with me tomorrow to the hospital to see her and her mom? … In the mean time, let all of our prayers to be with her and we pray that her mom is in God’s perfect protection.”

I felt disappointed that I could not visit the hospital, but I was comforted by our community of believers caring for one another. I'm grateful for the Body of Christ.

Parenting in a Different Culture

"Honor your father and mother—which is the first commandment with a promise— that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth" (Ephesians 6:2-3).

I love both my Mom and Dad although emotionally I always felt closer connected with my Mom. Like all parents, they had their ups and downs in life, and it was their broken relationship that affected me the most.

As a young girl, I heard about how Dad had a mistress who gave birth to a son (my half-brother) when I was only one year old. I was told that my grandmother told Dad, "Two girls in a row? You'd better go elsewhere to have a son," right after I was born. Since Mom wanted to give my older sister and me a good life, she eventually accepted my Dad's concubine.

There were pictures of me wearing boy's clothing before I started school. Feeling insignificant as a girl, I tried very hard to be better than boys academically, athletically, and socially. I wanted to please my dad and grandmother, and to honor my mom.

After their marital storm, my parents tried to live a normal life – as normal as it could be living with my grandmother. Being number 8 among ten children, my dad and us lived with grandmother's five youngest children (#6-10) and their families in her big house in Happy Valley, Hong Kong. Grandmother had two cooks. We used to eat dinner around four to five big round tables everyday. Since Dad's concubine lived in Kowloon, Dad only came home four nights a week.

On top of all this complexity, tragedy struck. When my half-brother was ten, he was run over and killed by his school bus. Dad was deeply saddened and guilt-stricken. Ironically, about one year before that fatal accident, my mom gave birth to my younger brother. After trying for nine years, Mom finally had a son of her own when I was almost 10. I cried when I first read the story of Abraham, Sarah and Hagar. Sadly, our mom passed away at age 48 when my brother was in his early teen. Dad felt guilty to both sides of his family but never really talked much about it.

Making Sleep a Priority

Over the last half a century, we have shaved off an average of two (precious) hours of sleep a night. According to a National Sleep Foundation poll a few years ago, 40 percent of adults say they get less than seven hours of sleep on a weeknight, compared with the seven to nine hours that are recommended.

Of course, most of us know this. We burn the midnight oil, we get up way before the kids just to get things done. Our days are go, go, go! And it’s often hard to stay asleep once we get there.

And while most of us know that too little sleep makes us cranky, less focused and less available to those who need us, did you know this?   

•  Bodies deprived of sleep produce less leptin, an appetite-regulating hormone; this increases our craving for sweets and salty carbohydrates.

•  Shortened sleep produces metabolic changes. These may lead to diabetes or may alter the nervous system in a way that could contribute to high blood pressure and heart-rhythm irregularities.

•  Insomnia substantially increases the risk of developing depression.

In short, not getting enough rest can affect both our mental and physical health much more than we thought. Here are some DOs and DON’Ts that will help you get healthful, renewing sleep more often.

The Impact of Unresolved Trauma on Relationships

Physicians use the word “trauma” to describe a serious injury to the physical body resulting from a sudden impact, such as an accident or a violent act. But you can also suffer emotional trauma, which can cause an equally painful wound to your sense of self as a whole, coherent being. Just like a wound to your physical body, emotional injuries also require care and attention so that you may heal.

When this trauma is left unresolved and your experience of yourself is one of not being whole—of somehow being broken—you are likely to bring the footprints of this to your relationships. To have healthy relationships, you must first have a healthy sense of your own being and place in the world.

Let’s take a brief look at trauma, its origins and symptoms, and then how this may affect your relationships.

Origins and Effects of Emotional Trauma

Emotional injuries result from any experience in which one feels that his or her life or well-being is endangered. These experiences might include the shaming of a young person by a parent or teacher, the molestation or beating of a child, the loss of a job or a divorce, a sudden death or life-changing accident, or being sent to war.

Whether the trauma occurred in childhood or adulthood, it changes your experience of yourself and your world. If you were young when the trauma occurred, you will likely have more scars, because you were more vulnerable and had fewer coping skills.

An “Exercise” in Vitality - The Missing Ingredient in Vital, Vibrant Living

Human beings do not like to be controlled by others. In 1776, the American colonists fought the British to became an independent country. We celebrate the independence of the United States on the Fourth of July.

While some people are thinking BBQ, road trips and fireworks, others are dealing with worries and concerns of this world. It seems that we are trapped in a world wide web of terrorism and catastrophes.

How do you feel reading the news about Brexit, Istanbul airport bombing, West Virginia flooding, California wild fires, shooting, killing and accidents everywhere? Just now I heard the breaking news about Gunmen attacking and holding hostages at a restaurant in a diplomatic zone, that was supposed to be the safest area in Dhaka, Bangladesh.

Can we really shield and shelter our next generation from these troubles in the world? How can we raise them to become mature and independent adults?

One thing we can do is to live through the ups and downs of life by trusting God who sent His Son Jesus Christ to save us.

Even as Christians, our love of independence often causes us to forget the truth that we cannot live or do anything without God, even exercise!

The Essential Father

Last Sunday morning, the deadliest shooting massacre in U.S. History happened in Orlando, Florida. At least 49 people were killed and more than 53 were injured. Like many people, I felt shocked and sad. I grieved for the victims and their families and friends, and worried about the effect on the general public.

The gunman was a 29-years-old husband and the father of a young child. Was he a lone-wolf home-grown terrorist? Investigations are digging up more and more things that seem confusing, conflicting, alarming, and troublesome. I cannot help but to follow some of the stories about his upbringings, his father, his ex-wife, his wife, his job, and his targets ... what people said ... and my head was spinning.

Who really was this guy? How can God let this kind of bad things happen?

I don't have the answer but this I know: If not for the mercy and grace of God, things could be much worse.

How can we live with so many bad news in a Fallen world?

I thought about what Jesus said. “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33)

Father's Day is coming soon. I want to appreciate dads who are trying their best to be involved in the lives of their children. Even if you are learning as you go, your participation and involvement count. Don't ever underestimate your role.