Do you feel that there is less and less time for leisure and entertainment in life? High technology and fast-paced life have created a culture of always working, always rushing, and always connected.
Finding Happiness in Busyness
With cell phones interrupting the theater, laptop computers at the beach, internet connections at every other café, and home offices that beckon us all hours of the night and day, it's hard to separate "play" from "work." However, play is crucial.
Have you seen kids staring at their homework for hours but going nowhere? Instead of scolding, lecturing, threatening, yelling, and nagging, try to look beyond the surface symptoms and understand what's happening inside them. When they complain about school, homework, and activities they don’t like, what’s the reason?
Whether adults like it or not, kids like to play. Indeed play brings pleasure. I often ask children what they like most about school, and the most common answer is "recess." It is so sad to see that children have less and less time to move around freely and play. In play, we discover joy, develop a sense of accomplishment, and gain a sense of belonging. In play, we learn, grow, and find an outlet to release stress.
When we fully immerse ourselves in recreation and leisure, worries and anxieties fade away. Whether we're running, walking, playing ping-pong or basketball, or immersing ourselves in a good novel, we feel joyful, energized, and relaxed. Nothing makes us more present than this.
Discovering Each Other's Fun
Often times, playing, laughing, and having fun put people at ease. Children of all ages (including youths and adults) can best focus their energy on learning, growing and performing when they feel emotionally secured.
Long ago, facing the pressures of life, I saw my husband James playing chess on the computer. I asked him, "With such a tight schedule and so many things to do, why are you still playing chess?" His answer shocked me: "I need to relax." That was when I understood his need. For someone who loves to think, having time to focus on other things is a great distraction and a coping mechanism for stress. While I don't relax by playing chess, I do find myself relaxing by playing Tetris on the computer when I'm at my most stressed.
Our eldest grandson also loves to play chess. A few years ago, James taught him how to play chess over video chat. The two of them teamed up to play against a computer. Clearly, playing chess brought them both joy and interaction. After we moved closer, James also taught him how to play Chinese chess. One night at dinner, I shared the story about James playing chess to relax. A few days later, near the end of dinner, our eldest grandson asked, "Yeye, do you need to relax after dinner?" This phrase has become a codeword for inviting him to play chess.
These memories remind me of the times when our son was growing up: I played Lego with him, told him stories, played ping-pong and basketball with him; and James played chess and various strategy games with him. It was amazing to see how much a child could learn while having fun.
When things are going well, you might enjoy working constantly because it's exciting, thrilling, and fun. I was a workaholic like that when I was young. However, with looming deadlines and a demanding boss, you might lose focus. If your boss or coworkers are overly demanding, the pressure might even cause you to call in sick. Similarly, our kids might lose interest in school if it is no longer fun.
Having Fun with Family and Friends
Life is too short. Think about what and who are really important to you when all is said and done! Any time you have the choice of whether to work "just one more hour" or give yourself over to play, consider what Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "This time, like all times, is a very good one, if we but know what to do with it." If you feel like you're losing free time and unstructured play in your life, try these suggestions:
- Turn-off. Turn off the television, computer, beeper and cell phone for at least two hours a day.
- Let your mind wander. Recall what you used to enjoy doing or what you always wanted to do before we became so technology-oriented.
- Include others. Invite someone over to play and hang out, just like you used to when you were a kid. Nothing planned, nothing structured. Let your play evolve naturally.
- Think physical. Go for a walk, ride your bike, rent some skates, play basketball ... go for a swim or a run.
- Pretend. Just for a moment, pretend you don't have any cares or worries. Pretend you have all the time in the world to laugh and play and enjoy. The truth is, you don’t need to pretend at all, just turn to the Lord Jesus.
"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 4:4-7).
